My name is Lauren, and I grew up in an anti-James Spader household.
It's true.
Wow, I can't believe it's taken me this long to say it.
Wow, I can't believe it's taken me this long to say it.
Man, where do I begin?
I remember the first day I heard those malevolent words.
I was young, maybe 5 or 6, and talking to my dog chewed Beetlejuice action figures, when I heard terrible screaming coming from the other room.
"Ugh, look at his smarmy eyes and slicked back blonde hair!"
I peeked into the living room where my Mom was violently ironing and gawking at the screen.
She turned and stared at me, "Look at him, Lauren!. Who does James Spader think he is?"
Who the freak is James Spader? I thought to myself.
I looked up at the screen. I had no beef with this guy. He seems nice enough in this movie about mannequins. I glanced up to my mother for answers, but the look she gave back said I had no choice in the matter, I was to hate this man.
I was young, maybe 5 or 6, and talking to my dog chewed Beetlejuice action figures, when I heard terrible screaming coming from the other room.
"Ugh, look at his smarmy eyes and slicked back blonde hair!"
I peeked into the living room where my Mom was violently ironing and gawking at the screen.
She turned and stared at me, "Look at him, Lauren!. Who does James Spader think he is?"
Who the freak is James Spader? I thought to myself.
I looked up at the screen. I had no beef with this guy. He seems nice enough in this movie about mannequins. I glanced up to my mother for answers, but the look she gave back said I had no choice in the matter, I was to hate this man.
My question changed from "Who the heck is James Spader?" to, "Whomever James Spader is, who the heck does he think he is???"
Then over time, this cancer grew inside of me. All I had to do was turn on the TV and see PRETTY IN PINK or LESS THAN ZERO and I would find myself repeating those same hatred-licked words, "Look at his beady eyes and sly grin! Damn that James Spader!"
I didn't like myself for it. I couldn't understand why other people could enjoy movies with James Spader in them and I couldn't. As years went on, I began alienating myself from the quality indie movies he was appearing in and I got to the point where I knew I had to put an end to it. One day, I turned to the person who created and fanned the James Spader hatred and I said, "You know what? I kind of LIKE James Spader!" She looked at me in disbelief. "Yeah, I even just saw a movie where he was a sadomasochist lawyer and I thought it was COOL!!! I felt strength from these words and from that day on, I never looked back. I rented all of his movies and discovered not only did I have a new friend, but a love in myself I never knew existed. A love for a man who played smarmy characters in quintessential 80's teen movies/early 90's indies/and network lawyer shows where he progressively looks more and more like his co-star, William Shatner.
I've never looked back since that day and I'm proud to say that I now live in a James Spader loving household.
Lauren Modery, an administrative goddess at Austin's Super!Alright! creative media firm, is a part-time contributor to Alternative Apparel's blog with "Casual Fridays,” a column covering the culture and lifestyle of the indie urbanite. Get more of Lauren's daily pandering at www.hipstercrite.com.
Then over time, this cancer grew inside of me. All I had to do was turn on the TV and see PRETTY IN PINK or LESS THAN ZERO and I would find myself repeating those same hatred-licked words, "Look at his beady eyes and sly grin! Damn that James Spader!"
I didn't like myself for it. I couldn't understand why other people could enjoy movies with James Spader in them and I couldn't. As years went on, I began alienating myself from the quality indie movies he was appearing in and I got to the point where I knew I had to put an end to it. One day, I turned to the person who created and fanned the James Spader hatred and I said, "You know what? I kind of LIKE James Spader!" She looked at me in disbelief. "Yeah, I even just saw a movie where he was a sadomasochist lawyer and I thought it was COOL!!! I felt strength from these words and from that day on, I never looked back. I rented all of his movies and discovered not only did I have a new friend, but a love in myself I never knew existed. A love for a man who played smarmy characters in quintessential 80's teen movies/early 90's indies/and network lawyer shows where he progressively looks more and more like his co-star, William Shatner.
I've never looked back since that day and I'm proud to say that I now live in a James Spader loving household.
Lauren Modery, an administrative goddess at Austin's Super!Alright! creative media firm, is a part-time contributor to Alternative Apparel's blog with "Casual Fridays,” a column covering the culture and lifestyle of the indie urbanite. Get more of Lauren's daily pandering at www.hipstercrite.com.
I am so glad you were able to see the light and appreciate James Spader...a very talented actor.
Posted by: jj1960 | February 26, 2010 at 11:54 AM
Spader is a living legend. Welcome to the club.
Posted by: Matthew Mcconaughey | February 26, 2010 at 02:40 PM
Haha! I think our parents do this to us on purpose when we are young and easily influenced. To this day I still will not listen to the Eagles. Don't ask me why though. ;o)
Posted by: Chrissie G. | February 26, 2010 at 03:44 PM
you had me @ smarmy!
as a youf, i was conflicted. i was supposed to hate james spader, but there was something there, something magical that made me doubt that.
thanks for making me feel a little less lonely.
Posted by: marcos m. | February 26, 2010 at 05:04 PM